The Bad Mommy

So Many Ways to Fail, So Little Time

2012-01-06T14:14:00.001-08:00

1. Today is a minimum day. Completely forgot.
a. So, no need for that lunch I packed.
b. So, great need to have the child picked up shortly after noon. Fortunately, another carpool mom not only did so, but took him to lunch.
c. So, great need to have the child returned to school for wrestling practice at 3:45. Again, other carpool mom is totally on top things. Thank heavens.
d. I don't usually pick up on Fridays after practice, but this might be a good time to offer.
2. Very carefully locked all the doors before we left this morning. On a normal day, I would get home first, so no big deal. Today, however, this resulted in the child being required to break in between lunch and practice.
a. Very smart child - able to accomplish this far too easily.
b. Even smarter - he called me from outside while waiting till the neighbors were all inside their homes before breaking in so that no one would call the cops and/or learn how to break in.

So: Does it make better sense to make it harder to break in? Or do we need to maintain an alternate method of getting in, since I suspect this will happen more, rather than less, frequently?

Seriously

2011-11-10T15:27:00.001-08:00

Dear Macys Shoe Salesperson:

You're going to have better luck selling me shoes if you stop telling me how much your mom likes the kind I'm trying on. Especially since I'm guessing that you and I are about the same age.

Seriously,

Sue

Parenting a Teenager

2011-09-15T22:28:00.000-07:00

I had lunch with my wonderful parents yesterday.

I apologized for my teen years, and mused that in another ten years I'd probably be apologizing for my twenties as well.

Magic

2011-09-02T15:10:00.000-07:00

It was one of those magical moments the other night. I happened to look out the window and see one deer lying down in the backyard, with another standing next to it. It was during the magic hour - that time in the early evening when the light is just gorgeous. Deer are so serene and beautiful anyway and the light just made them seem even more ethereal.

I called to Carter and Mark to come and see. They arrived just in time to see the deer who was lying down stand up, turn its back to us and take a huge, lengthy, runny poop.

Magical, I tell you.

Good Samaritan

2011-05-20T11:14:00.000-07:00

While driving to work one day last week, Mark was stopped waiting for the light to change when a Mama duck paraded across the street, a dozen ducklings in her wake. All was well until she reached the curb on the other side. She hopped right up but the ducklings ended up like this:

Good fellow that he is, Mark put the truck in park, hopped out and started directing traffic around the situation. After taking a quick photo, and keeping his eye on the Mama duck in case she was inclined to nip, he scooped up two handsful of ducklings and deposited them on the curb. They and the Mama continued on their way.

As Mark headed back to his truck, a woman who had stopped to watch leaned out her window and called to him: "Are you married???"

Attitude Adjustment

2011-03-24T14:29:00.000-07:00

Last year, I learned about this GREAT program called Cup of Joe for Joe offered by the Green Beans Coffee Company. You donate $2 to the program and it provides a deployed soldier with a cup of coffee (or hot chocolate or whatever).

Green Beans (which is headquartered just down the road from me in Larkspur, CA) operates cafes both here in the US and all over various war zones. When you donate a cup of Joe, Green Beans randomly gives a gift card to a soldier, along with - if you choose to write one - a note from you. You have the option of providing your email address in the event the soldier would like to thank you. I've had about an 80% response rate and it is SUCH A RUSH to hear from someone half way around the world whose day has been brightened by such a small act of kindness.

(On some level, I feel like the best good deeds are anonymous. In this case, I think it's more meaningful to have a "real" person doing the giving. Also, see above re SUCH A RUSH :-)

Regardless of how I feel about the US presence in other parts of the world, I do unequivocally support the men and women who are risking their lives each and every day to keep the rest of us safe. This is a wonderful, low key, personal way to say thank you.

The minimum donation is $2 - payable by credit/debit card or PayPal. If you're feeling flush, you can donate in any increment of $2.

Today I was feeling whiney about having to take public transit on such a rainy, soggy day. I realized I needed a little attitude adjustment -- our soldiers face extreme weather AND risk their lives on a daily basis. Then when I checked our bank account, I saw that the Franchise Tax Board had deposited our refund last night.

The confluence of those two events felt like the universe was sending me a message, so this afternoon I sent another batch of gift cards.

Next time you're feeling a little crabby, or generous, or both, please think about sending a Cup of Joe to a Joe. You can thank me later :-)

Note To Self....

2011-01-21T15:08:00.001-08:00

Monday is a teacher work day. NO SCHOOL ON MONDAY.

It Kind of Says It All

2011-01-19T17:02:00.000-08:00

A New Low in Bad Parenting

2011-01-03T12:05:00.001-08:00

So I got Carter up around 6:45 this morning. He showered and dressed and grabbed his backpack and I threw a bowl of oatmeal in his direction as we dashed for the car and I drove him over to the school.

We get there and the place is deserted. We drive slowly past the front of the building and read the notice board: WINTER BREAK: December 20-January 4. Huh. I guess I knew that in some deep recess of my brain.

Fortunately, Carter had a good sense of humor about the whole thing: "Well, aren't we just the most clever family ever?"

I felt terrible - terrible about getting him up so early, terrible about being so clueless but mostly terrible for this:

"Honey, I'm really sorry, but if I'm going to make it to the bus on time, I'm going to have to drop you at the end of the street and have you walk the rest of the way home...."

Broccoli Update

2010-12-28T12:14:00.000-08:00

Carter's disdain for broccoli is well-documented. So his comments as Mom and I were getting ready to steam the vegetables for Christmas dinner should come as no surprise.

"Has anybody else noticed how closely the word 'broccoli' resembles 'e.Coli?'"

Humility Is A Good Thing

2010-11-07T15:50:00.000-08:00

The high point of my week these days is volunteering in my friend Anne's second grade classroom on Wednesday mornings. The kids are so genuine and funny (sometimes intentionally :-) and it's really fun to watch - and with any luck help - them learn and figure stuff out.

A couple of weeks ago, I leaned over to answer a question and the girl turned to me and said "you smell good!" I started to say thank you but then she followed up with "you smell like spaghetti!"

And Speaking of Text Messaging...

2010-10-29T16:32:00.000-07:00

As I discovered during my recent stay in the hospital, text messaging is the absolute best way to communicate in those sorts of circumstances. I wasn't really up for talking to a lot of people, and it was a quick and easy way to keep family and friends posted on what was going on. (Probably too posted: I don't think my jello photos were particularly well-received.)

Some of my all-time favorite text messages came from a family member who had never ever texted before in her entire life. I won't mention any names, so that I won't embarrass or out her. Let's just say that she gave birth to me and leave it at that.

Here, verbatim, are the best messages ever:

Gqp great seeyou sooneqpr
I wikj o hell call me
Yerp yes easily
Moo ok

That last one is my favorite. I have no idea what it means. And I kind of think it's better that way.

Don't You Wish You Had a Brother Like This?

2010-10-11T15:55:00.001-07:00

I recently got to spend 5 days and 4 nights in the hospital because I (used to) take Excedrin Migraine instead of my prescription migraine medication.

It seemed like a good idea at the time. Excedrin is a lot cheaper and (I thought) has less dire side effects. Turns out that a steady diet of Excedrin can lead to bleeding ulcers.

I thought I was just having an extremely exhausting week. Then one morning I got out of bed and discovered that I couldn’t walk to the next room without having to sit down and put my head between my knees. I come from a long line of tough women. It takes a lot to get us to slow down.

So, off to the emergency room where they ran some tests and decided to transfuse me with four pints of blood. Seriously: four pints – as in about 1/3 the total amount of blood I would normally have. I told you we’re tough. The next day I had an endoscopy, during which 3 bleeding ulcers were discovered and clamped off.

(Let me digress for a moment and insert a public service announcement: If you’re able to donate blood, please do so! I’ve always been a little casual about my blood donations, seeing them as simply a good deed and nothing I spent much time thinking about. Having now been on the other side of the equation, I can tell you that blood donations literally SAVE LIVES – mine among them. So if you can, get yourself in to your local blood bank and do a good deed!)

Here’s the thing: As serious and scary as all this was, I wasn’t really in any pain. I couldn’t walk across a room or breathe normally, but I wasn’t hurting. And after the transfusion, I felt better than I had in weeks.

But at this point, nobody was taking my word for anything. The lab ran blood tests every 8 hours and while my numbers initially went back up, they then went back down a bit, and it just took awhile for my body to recalibrate.

During the recalibration period, I was limited to a clear liquid diet. Yes, maybe I was recalibrating but it was also possible that I was continuing to bleed. And if that was the case, I needed to be in a state of constant readiness for another endoscopy.

A clear liquid diet is bad enough when one feels like poop. But when one is feeling great, it genuinely sucks. By the final day in the hospital, I had reached the point of counting the minutes to the next blood draw because if the readings were good, I would not only get to go home, I’d get to eat real food, too.

Throughout all of this, I was communicating with my out-of-town family and friends via text messages. I thought you might enjoy this exchange with my brother David:

Me: still waiting for 10 am blood draw. more jello for breakfast

David: …how long to get stats after blood draw?

Me: once they finally come draw the damn blood the results come back in 20-60 mins

David: and how u doing this morning?

Me: feeling pretty crabby. can’t do anything else till the lab tech gets here. i want a shower and some real food. _)&(^#%(&

David: don’t hold back. tell me how u really feel

Me: srsly losing my sense of humor here

David: wanna pic of my foot?

Me: yes please!

David: here ya go!

Now don’t you wish YOU had somebody who would go to these kinds of lengths to cheer YOU up?

Planning Ahead

2010-09-07T11:46:00.001-07:00

The boy's Christmas wish list for this year:

1. a machete

2. donations to Heifer International.

Tell me he's not well rounded....

A Good Bumper Sticker Can Make Sitting In Traffic Worthwhile

2010-08-08T10:08:00.000-07:00

I saw this one the other day:

Buckle Up! It makes it harder for the aliens to suck you into their spaceships.

The Face of an Angel

2010-08-05T14:55:00.001-07:00

Two years ago this coming October, we lost our cat Maggie to kidney disease. Completely true to her diva personality to the end, she survived two and a half years beyond the 6 month prognosis the vet gave her.

Maggie's death was particularly hard on Mark, who was the only one of us at home when it happened.

(Yes, I know this is old news. Hang in there - it all comes together at the end.)

So it was a bit of a surprise, perhaps six weeks later, when I noticed a flyer on the desk that Mark had brought home: "MAINE COON ADOPTIONS." He had seemed pretty adamant about not getting attached to any more cats any time soon. He claimed that he had just taken the flyer from a friend to be polite. Sure.

So the next thing you know, Carter was online, checking for Maine Coons available for adoption in Marin. As luck would have it, one was "in stock" at the Marin Humane Society. Clearly, it was a sign. Carter and I went by athe very next Saturday morning in November 2008 to check out the kitten. (Not entirely coincidentally, Mark was off on an all-day hike that day, and was unreachable.)

By noon, the kitten had taken up residence in our bathroom.

The Humane Society had given him the name Sami which was totally wrong for him. He had a great purr and big personality so in short order he became Hemi.

He was also incredibly loving, friendly and sociable. Our remaining older cat, Slick, hated him from day one.

After about six weeks of watching Slick rebuff Hemi's every effort to be friends, Carter and I decided that Hemi needed a friend closer to his own age - somebody who would play with him and keep him entertained while his three humans were at work and school. So the next Saturday, while Mark was again on a hike and unreachable, we headed back to the Humane Society.

How could we resist this?

The Humane Society had gotten it right this time. This little guy started out as Hank and Hank he has remained. Hank was jumpy and nervous but once he got used to us, he was a snuggler of the highest order. He liked nothing better than being picked up and held like a baby, front paws flung over our shoulders, so that he could rub his face up against ours.

Amazingly, Hank and Hemi took to each other immediately. Despite the fact that he's only about six weeks older than Hank, Hemi seemed to think that he was Hank's mother. He groomed him, came running if Hank cried and snuggled right up with him to sleep.The two of them have remained fast friends ever since. They race around the house together, eat out of the same bowl and continue to groom each other.

Since they arrived in the fall, we kept them inside until the following spring, when the weather got nicer and after we had all developed a certain comfort level about our house being their home. When spring rolled around this year, we got a big dowel fitted for the sliding glass door and as long as the weather has been nice, we've left that door open just enough for a cat to get in and out.

All was right with the world. Hank and Hemi could come and go as they pleased during the day and when we were all home together at night, they'd come in and we'd close the door and everybody was safe and sound.

Then Hank discovered his inner hunter. He may still be a nervous and jumpy cat around strangers but he's also incredibly stealthy and fast.

It started out simply enough. He'd catch a small mouse and very gently carry it into the house and drop it. The mouse would be in a state of shock, so it was easy to pick it up by the tail and take it back outside.

Then it got a little more complicated. Hank would catch a mouse and bring it inside when nobody was home. The mouse would get away from him and go into hiding until after we had all gone to bed. Hank would re-find the mouse, bring it underneath our bed and bat it around until either Mark or I would get up, grab the mouse by the tail and take it back outside.

Occasionally, Hank would show up at the door to be let in, head held curiously low. Closer examination would reveal a wiggling tail sticking out the side of his mouth. One hand on tail, one hand helping teeth to relax, another mouse returned to the wild.

Sometimes there would be two mice - apparently Hank felt Hemi should have one too.

Then one night we were sitting on the couch, watching tv, when a rat walked through the family room, followed closely by Hank. A bucket and a broom later, Mr. Rat was outside and Hank was obviously a little miffed about things.

Clearly both we and Hank were unhappy about the progression of events. He stopped bringing his friends back to the house to play and we breathed a sigh of relief, hoping that we had made it through this phase without any truly regrettable incidents.

I mean seriously: Is this the face of a killer?

Yes, denial is not just a river in Egypt.

Two nights ago, around 10:30, I called both cats in from the backyard. In they came, rodent-less. Perhaps ten minutes later, as I walked into the bedroom I came face to face with Hank who had a large, eviscerated rodent corpse in his mouth. I grabbed the bucket. Mark grabbed Hank and gently gave him a shake over the bucket. Corpse removed to the back porch.

When I left the next morning, I was very clear in my instructions to both Hank and Hemi: NO RODENTS TODAY.

But as Mark points out, they don't speak English very well and could just as well have interpreted my instruction as MO' RODENTS TODAY.

Let's just say that even though Hank has the face of an angel, I'm still stepping carefully and checking under the sheets before I get in.

Summer Vacation

2010-07-30T13:06:00.000-07:00

(First, thanks go to Rolf for the photos. I totally stole them from him.)

For the last year and a half, Carter has been preparing, along with 87 other boys (ages 12 to 17) and 10 adults, to go to the National Boy Scout Jamboree in Ft. A.P. Hill, Virginia. This is not an every year kind of thing - if only because the parents need a couple of years' head start to pay for the thing :-) The Troop met regularly beforehand to work on skills, develop camaraderie amongst the boys (many of whom had never met before), practice setting up their village within the Jamboree camp and generally prepare for living on their own for a couple of weeks.

Totally worth it. The kid is having the time of his life. The Jamboree itself is "only" eight days but the Marin Jamboree Troop spent a week beforehand and will spend a couple of days afterward touring the area, visiting everything from Gettysburg to Mt. Vernon, to the varioius Smithsonians to the Holocaust Museum to the Spy Museum. One of the adult leaders (Thanks again Rolf!) has been taking photos every day and posting them. Really smart - this enables the parents to see what's going on, get a feel for the various places the Troop has been, and undoubtedly cuts down on the number of parents calling to ask how their babies are doing. (Not that it would ever occur to any of us to do that. Uh uh.)

In pre-cell phone days, we probably wouldn't have heard from Carter at all. Even with a cell phone, it's hard - the kids can only use them when all the group responsibilities and activities are over for the day. And at that point, getting some down time and/or actual sleep is a much bigger priority than talking to the people that you have to live with the other 11 months of the year.

Nonetheless, we HAVE spoken to our boy a couple of times and gotten some great reports about the cool things the kids are doing - hosting a troop from the UK, participating in all kinds of games and events, making use of a big storm to put together an impromptu slip-and-slide, attending an Eagle Scout award ceremony and so on.

My favorite story though - mostly because it was told with such enthusiasm and awe - is this:

"Mom, last night there was a lot of opened Spam left over from dinner and nobody wanted to throw it away and WASTE it, so we had a Spam-eating contest. About six guys competed to see who could finish an entire can of it the fastest. One guy had previously participated in a wilderness survival thing where all they had to eat was Spam. He had kind of developed a fondness for it, so of course he won. But there was this other guy. He ate so much of it so fast that he PUKED. It was NASTY."

Good times!

Oops

2010-05-11T09:55:00.001-07:00

The school sent an email blast out last night: There have been credible reports of a mountain lion being spotted in an area very near the school Carter attends.

Mark read the email before he left for work this morning and he and I discussed it briefly - him bemoaning the fact that with all the hiking he does he's never spotted one and me joking that the mountain lions weren't stupid - they were hanging out where they can get a meal.

Mark goes off to work. I go back to sleep.

I get to work this morning and read the email for myself and remember that I meant to mention the mountain lion to Carter before he rode his bike to school this morning. Oops. Not getting Mother of the Year again this year, I'm thinking.

Remembering Why I Married Him

2010-04-19T09:52:00.000-07:00

Last night we dined at In'N'Out (yes, a big night out for us!). On the way out to the car after eating, Mark held the door open for me and as I walked by, I thanked him and gave him a big smooch.

A young woman was walking into the restaurant and Mark continued to hold the door open for her. As she passed him he said to her, "You don't have to do that, too."

Fortunately, she laughed.

OK OK OK

2009-12-27T09:31:00.000-08:00

This is what happens when you keep yelling "get out of bed and get into the shower!"

Breakfast of Champions

2009-10-26T16:04:00.000-07:00

So Carter and I are at Starbucks one recent morning and he says he'd like a white hot chocolate.

Me: Ok, but how about if you have a little something that's reasonably healthy, too?

Carter: Like what? Why?

Me: Well, I just like you to start off your day with something resembling a healthy breakfast. How about a breakfast sandwich?

Carter: Right. Mom, what do you have for breakfast each and every morning?

I started to come back at him but was at a loss for words, since my standard breakfast for years now has been a nonfat hot chocolate, light on the chocolate. Twenty grams of protein, nonfat, only about 250 calories and very filling.

So I just stood there. Like an idiot.

Carter: Right. I'll stick with the white hot chocolate, then, ok?

Out of the Mouths of Babes

2009-07-23T15:03:00.000-07:00

We’ve all got malapropisms that we love. Here are some of my faves – some created by my child and some by various other younger relatives –

Racamoni and cheese (Carter – but I don’t think anybody at our house has referred to it as macaroni and cheese for at least ten years)
Shampoo the Killer Whale (my nephew RJH – it didn’t matter how many times he was told it was actually Shamu – he was adamant that it was Shampoo)
Chunky Cheese (RJH again – and really, isn’t it a much more accurate description than Chuck E. Cheese?)
Clean ketchup (my brother PSH - for kleenex)
The cursive moon (another nephew, MCH – he knew it was a longish word that started with C but couldn’t come up with crescent)
Have a nice day without your underwear! (Not really a malapropism but it HAS become a saying we use a lot, ever since nephew TNH stood on the front porch yelling it at passers-by)
The Heimlich Remover (my child again – he knew as soon as he said it that something wasn’t quite right – and now we ALL have to stop and think about it every time we try to use it correctly in conversation)

We’ve all got them – what are some of your family’s?

My Child Can Beat Up Your Honor Student

2009-07-12T14:16:00.001-07:00

While other kids are out enjoying summer - swimming, riding bikes, reading good books - this is what my kid has been home designing:

School's Out for Summer...

2009-06-19T22:33:00.000-07:00

The boy's report card came in the mail today (all good, thanks for asking) and as we were looking it over, I said "hey - this is great: no tardies at all."

His response?

"That's what you think. You'd be amazed at how far a dollar goes these days."

Gotta Love Mondays

2009-06-15T12:02:00.000-07:00

Even though the bus schedule shifted this morning, so that my departure is 14 minutes later than it was last week, I got up at the usual 6:30 so that I could drop C at camp on my way to the bus. In typical twelve year old fashion, he declined to cooperate when I sweetly asked him to get up and moving. In the process of gently prodding him, helping him find his shoes and reminding him to brush teeth and hair, I somehow lost track of the fact that I had failed to apply makeup.

There were many, many people dropping their kids at camp at the leisurely hour of 7:30 - It was a nice opportunity to run into a lot of people I know and leave them wondering why I looked vaguely washed out this morning.

After C declined to say goodbye or even acknowledge my existence (I know he was just trying to save me some time; it has nothing to do with being a hormonal preteen boy who would prefer to be raised by wolves), I drove at exactly the speed limit all the way to the park & ride, pulling in just behind my bus. No worries! It was a nice little bit of exercise to run across the lot, and very exciting to be the absolute last person to board. Also, the unexpected exertion made me warm enough that it really didn't matter that I forgot to grab my coat when I got out of the van.

After doing a little deep breathing exercise that I like to do to relax (usually I have to be at work for a few hours before this is necessary), I looked down and realized that when I decided to change my shirt this morning, I neglected to change my underclothing as well. No worries! Black underwear with a pink shirt is pretty standard attire for a downtown law firm and since I don't have my coat with me, everyone will be able to enjoy my fashion statement right along with me.

Gosh, so much happens in just a short time around here!

My Siblings, In Particular, Should Appreciate This One ---

2009-06-09T11:24:00.001-07:00

Voice message received the other day from my one and only child:

"Hi Mom. Favorite child here."

In His Secret Heart....

2009-05-31T18:19:00.001-07:00

In his secret heart, Hank believes he is Jackie Chan.

In fact, he is a ninja:

Great Bumper Sticker We Spotted This Weekend:

2009-05-25T19:58:00.001-07:00

I may be dyslexic, but I can still kick your tub.

Dear Kittens....

2009-05-13T12:03:00.000-07:00

Dear Kittens:

Thank you for being so clean and tidy and never using anything but the litter box when you have business to take care of. It's really nice of you to never, ever leave any presents anywhere else. (And Hemi? The other day when you had to throw up and you did it IN the litter box instead of on a carpet somewhere? That was brilliant.)

A favor, though: When I'm cleaning out the litter box (one good turn deserves another, after all), it would be very, very helpful if you would not jump in and try to re-bury everything before I can get it scooped out and thrown away. Just something to think about.

Love,

Mom

PS: Is it just me or does it make sense that when you're outside you can use the "facilities" there, without needing to run back inside to use the litterbox? Just checking....

Out of the Closet

2009-04-26T20:35:00.000-07:00

Keeping things picked up around here is a constant struggle. I had finally had it a couple of weeks ago and dragged the kid by the ear into his room and said you have GOT to get this room picked up. It is NOT ok for you to just leave all those clothes all over your bed.

His response?

That's not a bed, Mom. It's a horizontal closet.

Declarations

2009-04-26T20:25:00.000-07:00

There have been a lot of conversations around our house in the last couple of weeks about what this coming summer will look like. The boy thinks this is a great summer for him to hang out by himself at home while Dad and I are at work. (Not going to happen.) I'm going to a lot of work trying go find fun, interesting, new, fabulous things for the boy to do this summer, as well as arrange some semi-down time at Camp Nana & Papa. (The boy isn't going to be happy, regardless - since he doesn't want to do anything that doesn't involve a lot of time on the computer.) It's been a little tense.

So tonight we're having ravioli for dinner and as I'm serving up the boy's I say, "I'm assuming you'd like yours with just a little butter and salt, right?"

And he says "Yes, thanks. And maybe with just a dash of independence."

Not Loving School This Year

2009-04-26T20:23:00.000-07:00

Me, making dinnertime conversation: "You know, I thought I was having an allergic reaction to something growing this weekend but now I'm starting to think I'm just getting sick."

Carter: "Ooooh, Mom! Could you please go cough on my pillow?"

Loving the Tweens

2009-04-26T18:15:00.000-07:00

Me: "Honey? When you use the last of the toilet paper, you need to put up another roll.

C: "I don't know. It seems like a lot of effort."

It's Girl Scout Cookie Time

2009-03-19T21:48:00.000-07:00

So Carter and I are sitting at the dining room table last night, eating Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies. Mark is on the computer in the next room.

Carter: Mom, do these have crack in them?

Me: Yes. Yes they do.

Carter: I thought it had to be either cocaine or methamphetamine. I mean, one cookie and I've just got to keep eating until they're all gone.

Mark, just tuning in: What the hell are you two talking about???

************

So tonight, we've finished dinner and asked Carter to get the last tube of Thin Mints out of the freezer. He comes back with a partial box of Samoas. They constitute Mark's crack, so he's happy. After waiting for a minute, I ask Carter about the Thin Mints. He looks stricken. He leans over and whispers in my ear: Mom, I made the mistake of trying to eat just one this afternoon when I got home from school....

Why I'm The Way I Am

2009-01-19T12:26:00.000-08:00

The setting: Our local Starbucks.

The scene: I'm handing my Starbucks card to Carter, so he can buy a snack.

His line: Thanks. What you lack in style, you make up for in plastic.

Whew

2008-12-20T14:51:00.000-08:00

Christmas knitting is all done - AND in the mail. Some days I'm so impressed with me! I even managed to do some charity knitting - mittens, fingerless gloves and hats - for a local organization.

Since I don't have anything interesting or funny to say today, I will try to distract you by showing you some projects that are not surprises for anybody who might be reading this :-) Haiku baby sweater and sort of matching hat for a colleague who's having a baby at the end of this month:

Washable merino by Tess Designer Yarns.

Warts and All

2008-12-18T15:20:00.000-08:00

The boy got braces first thing yesterday morning, after which I dropped him off at school. I picked him up at the end of the day and as we were driving home, I said "So, how do the new braces feel? Does your mouth hurt?"

"Not really. It just kind of feels like all of my teeth have warts on them."

Oh Yeah

2008-11-12T10:01:00.000-08:00

As some of you know, I take a lot of crap for my choice in footwear. Really, a lot. So really, I took a lot of pleasure in this:

I'm So Proud...

2008-10-19T18:14:00.001-07:00

This is the sort of post that really calls for a caption contest. Here's what I've got so far -

* Attack of the mutant zukes
* Anybody seen the cleaver?
* Boy Scouting: Learn Many Useful Skills!

Please add your own in the comments!

One Month Into Middle School

2008-09-11T20:25:00.000-07:00

C: Mom? Do you know how to put yourself into a coma?

me: Does this have ANYTHING to do with the homework you're supposed to be working on?

C: Kind of. If I could put myself into a coma, I wouldn't have to finish this project.

Third Day of School

2008-08-22T07:03:00.000-07:00

Well, it didn't take long to have THIS conversation:

C: I want to live on the east coast.

Me: Oh? Why is that?

C: They have snow days there.

Me: Yeah, but not in August.

Gerbils

2008-06-05T16:14:00.000-07:00

So the child and I were having a conversation (again) about the importance of him checking in with me when he's out and about.

"Why is that so important, Mom?"

"Because I need to know where you are, who you're with, where you're going and when you got there so that I'll know you're safe and haven't, for instance, been carried off by a band of kidnapping gerbils."

"Mom? You've gone from crazy to crazier."

NOT What I Would Have Guessed

2008-05-16T18:25:00.000-07:00

"Hey Mom. You know what I want to do when I grow up?"

"Tell me."

"Design blender blades."

Seriously.

Knitters For Critters

2007-11-19T12:46:00.001-08:00

Now that I have your attention--- Check out all the details here.

The Real Reason Our Vet Lives in a Nice Home and Drives a Nice Car

2007-11-12T20:07:00.000-08:00

Poor Maggie got into it with something sharp - a nice little slice and a couple of small puncture wounds. We don't think it was another animal but rather some piece(s) of metal. We took her in to the animal ER last week, where they shaved much of her back and put in some stitches.

As M says, it's kind of like she got a butt lift.

She's been a complete angel about the antiobiotics, and having to stay inside and leave everything alone, but she is really, really, really pissed off about the Elizabethan collar.She got the stitches out yesterday and is doing great. But I have to say: This is our fourth kitty ER visit this year and we have spent more than twice what my first car cost. Yes, that probably dates me.

Big News!

2007-11-04T18:43:00.000-08:00

My bestiest friend and my wonderful husband made it possible for me to get my very own new camera this last week. I've really wanted a little tiny point-and-shoot, not at all complicated, easy-to-download digital camera for some time. I found exactly what I wanted (Canon PowerShot SD1000), BF and WH provided the financing, and Amazon delivered it on Friday.

It really IS easy to operate - and we know this because I was able to figure it out in a very short period of time, including managing to get the photos onto the computer and, even more importantly, managing to find them again once I put them there.

So here's the obligatory picture of the cute kid:

And here's a picture of a recently-finished knitted item. Yarn is Tess Designer Yarn 50% angora/50% merino purchased at Stitches West last year. Pattern is from Lorna's Laces: Simplest Sweater For Baby (it's true). Sweater is a gift for a co-worker who had a baby about a month ago. The sweater was actually finished before the baby arrived but I wanted to be able to take a photo before gifting it.

More to come!

I Have No Idea Where He Gets His Sense of Humor - Chapter 548

2007-10-12T11:46:00.000-07:00

Last night C was showing me something on the internet. I suggested he add the site to his favorites and noticed that he had a folder in his favorites titled "Adult Stuff."

It kinda caught my attention.

So I asked about it and he clicked it open and said "oh, you know, just stuff like this." He had bookmarked Time.com, CNN.com, BBC America and some other news sites. I said "ok - you had me a little worried there."

His response?

"What did you think I had? Something like Naked Onion Juggling?"

Time to Censor His Reading a Bit?

2007-09-04T14:21:00.000-07:00

So the kid comes into the kitchen the other day. He grabs a knife off the counter and starts stabbing a box of cereal. "Look Mom! I'm a cereal killer! Get it? A SERIAL killer!!"

Food Review

2007-08-31T13:13:00.001-07:00

C had a homework assignment this last week to write about his favorite and least favorite foods.

Food for Thought by C--------------

My favorite food is clams because its creamy goodness satisfies every tastebud on your tongue. It can be used in any recipe and still taste good, chowder, pizza, and all by itself, it’s the ultimate tastebud treat! Potatoes excellently compliment this delicacy from the sea. And the great part? Clams can be found around the world, in many sizes and shapes, saltwater and fresh water clams are the best.

Broccoli, yuck! Broccoli’s disgusting moldy~looking top tastes horrible with its ‘stem’ that feels like rotting wood, inside and out of the mouth. If you think it has a nice ‘earthy’ smell, think again because to me it smells like rotten meat! Cooking it just makes it worse, spices, blech! Broccoli is the one the one thing I won’t cook, it best goes unplanted!

Wasn't He Just an Infant?

2007-08-27T10:49:00.000-07:00

School started back up last week and my baby began his final year of of elementary school. I've taken the first day of school off from work for six years now - always more for myself than for C. Remember, this is the kid who, in kindergarden, said to me "You know, Mom, I think it embarrasses the other kids when you kiss me goodbye."

I do have SOME sensitivity. This year I asked if he'd be more comfortable being just dropped off or if it would be ok for me to walk him back to the classroom. He thought about it for a minute and then said it would be ok for me to walk him back, since there would no doubt be a lot of other parents doing the same thing.

He was right - we ended up having to park a couple of blocks from the school and as we walked toward the campus, I said "I don't supppose you're going to hold my hand this year?"

He gave me the sideways, mildly contemptuous look. "What do you think?"

"I think you'd rather die a slow painful death."

"Mom, that would be a slow painful death."

But he did it anyway - just for a few steps and not where anybody could see him. He knows I need that extra reassurance on the first day of school.

And I was really proud of myself - this year, for the first time, I didn't cry after dropping him off.

The Personal Is Political

2007-08-09T22:25:00.000-07:00

We were at Starbucks a week or so ago and someone had left that day's New York Times sitting on a table. C noticed a photo of a bunch of Elmo dolls and picked it up to read the article, which was about a Chinese lab that was testing the toys for safety.

He headed up to the counter to pay for a sandwich. The guy behind the counter looked a little startled to see a ten year old with the NYT and said "Oh, I see you're reading the business section of the New York Times!" with a little bit of a nervous laugh.

C said, "Oh, I was just interested in reading about this job I'd love to have, testing toys."

The barista started to relax a little bit and then C said "But you know, I'm still really opposed to American corporations using Chinese child labor."

I don't think that poor guy has recovered yet.

Truth in Advertising

2007-07-19T15:04:00.000-07:00

Our conversation as I was leaving the house this morning:

Me: Bye buddy - have a great day!

C: Bye psycho mommy!

In Which I Get Exactly What I Deserve

2007-06-04T21:35:00.000-07:00

We've all been missing Max and looking for a little extra love and reassurance lately. So the other night, I found myself asking C one of the most annoying things a parent can ask a kid.

Me: Do you love me?

C: Yes, I do.

Me (really pushing it here): How much?

Short pause.

C: Really, not very much.

(You know my parents are really enjoying this one.)

The Fabric of Our Lives

2007-05-14T15:25:00.000-07:00

Max, the youngest of our three cats, died Friday morning. It was sudden and stunning and we’re all trying to get used to this new life with a big hole in it.

From what we’ve been able to piece together, Max was hit by a car sometime last week, probably Wednesday. It was apparently a glancing blow and as he wasn’t bleeding, his injuries weren’t immediately obvious. He slept all night Wednesday night in the bottom drawer of C’s chest of drawers. We noticed he was still there Thursday morning, which was a little unusual but not completely strange. Then there was a lot going on Thursday evening – I was out, M & C had friends over for dinner – and no one can remember seeing him that evening.

Friday morning, around 5:15, M woke me up, saying that Max looked funny. There was something in M’s tone of voice – I was up out of bed and in the hallway with Max before I was even awake. He DID look funny. He was in a lot of pain – you could see it in his eyes and in the way he held his body.

I called in to work and got C up and off to school and then Max and I headed to the vet. We were there when they opened at 8:00. I filled out paperwork and they took him back to an exam room. They said they’d have to sedate him in order to do the exam. Max never got over being neutered and even though we tried to explain to him that he could only be neutered once, a trip to the vet always involved biting, even under the best of circumstances. And Friday was certainly not the best of circumstances. I signed various documents and then went home to wait to hear from the vet.

She called around 10:15 and said that when they put Max under and conducted their exam, they discovered various injuries – bruises, torn claws, injured vertebrae in Max’s neck. It was all consistent with his being hit by a car and then skidding down the street. He handled the exam well, until they started to bring him out of the anaesthesia. At that point, he went into respiratory and cardiac arrest and they were unable to save him.

Being hit by a car was consistent with who Max was. He was always much more brave than he was smart. It never once occurred to him – in spite of all kinds of evidence to the contrary – that he was not universally loved as well as invincible. The fight he got into 18 months ago and which required reconstructive surgery never appeared to have any effect on his behavior. He remained his usual friendly, outgoing self.

The only time we ever saw him scared was when he would freak himself out playing with dust bunnies. He would spot a dust bunny, jump straight up in the air, tear around the house a couple of times and then go shooting out the cat door at top speed. Most of the time, remembering how to get through the cat door was a struggle for Max, whom we referred to as our Special Needs Kitty. Not when the dust bunnies were after him, though. Under those circumstances, he’d go through the cat door as though he was leaping through a fire ring at the circus.

********************

Max came to live with us in the fall of 1995. We already had Slick and Maggie and had no plans to add anyone else to the household. We had gone to a baby shower at Pajaro Dunes with a group of friends I’ve known since junior high in the very early 1970s. We were minding our own business when this very cute, fluffy little cat invited himself to the party. He was clearly hungry so one of the friends fed him a can of tuna. After polishing it off in about three bites, he hopped up on the couch, curled up and went to sleep. He spent the afternoon with us and was sweet with the kids – agreeable to being picked up and hauled around and not at all afraid of any of us.

As a group, we came to the conclusion that he was homeless - his whiskers and a couple of his baby teeth were broken and there were no permanent residents at the area of Pajaro Dunes where we were, other than the friend whose house we were visiting, and the cat didn’t belong to her. As a group, we felt someone should take him home. As a group, everyone but M decided the cat should come home with us.

It wasn’t very hard to talk M into it. We were in the midst of the Bad Old Days of infertility. I had miscarried about a year and a half earlier and we had had no subsequent pregnancy successes, in spite of increasingly expensive and anxious work with the fertility doctors. I really wanted the cat and given our circumstances, M was kind enough not to argue very strenuously against our taking him home with us.

So we set up the back seat of the car with blankets and towels and a nice comfy box and put the cat in. As we drove off, the cat ignored all our preparations. He hopped into the front seat and into my lap and napped there for the entire 2+ hour drive home. I was smitten and our fates were sealed.

Unlike Slick and Maggie, whose names seemed obvious right away, Max didn’t have a name for several days. We were kind of sizing him up. We did a little research and learned he was a Maine Coon. We gave him a flea bath and discovered that he was 90% fur and 10% little rat body. These figures also roughly corresponded with his personality – 90% attitude and 10% brain. He never weighed more than 9 pounds – but he always gave the appearance of being much, much bigger.

And in those first few days we discovered what had not been apparent that afternoon at the beach. In his new home, with his new “siblings,” he was a complete and total maniac. He believed he was in charge of everything and Slick and Maggie were just too Type B to set him straight. He ran around a lot (see “dust bunnies,” above). Finally, we settled on the name Mad Max – most often shortened to Max, occasionally lengthened to Maxwell. It suited him.

We settled in. The difficult times with the (in)fertility process continued, and about a year and a half after Max’s arrival, we welcomed C, the miracle baby. Max adjusted more easily than any of the rest of us. Being a cat of very little brain has its advantages and it never occurred to him that C’s arrival would mean anything other than that there was just one more person to love him.

Indeed, that was pretty much the long and the short of it. Unlike many cats, Max was never nervous around kids. If C misbehaved, Max would give him a nip and since C was a quick learner there was never any fur- or tail-pulling. C quickly embraced the idea that being respectful of the animals was a worthy objective. The two of them were good buddies. Max would alternate sleeping on top of C’s head with sleeping on top of me.

The neighborhood kids enjoyed him too and frequently asked about him. They all got a kick out of describing him as being dumber than a box of rocks. It was never said with any meanness or hostility. They were genuinely tickled with the turn of the phrase and loved him because of – rather than in spite of – his dimwittedness. He had friends all over the neighborhood. He was right in his belief that he was universally loved, if not invincible.

*******************

M and I picked C up from school on Friday so that we could all be together when we had to share the news of Max’s death.

We went home and while M and C dug a hole in the backyard, I picked out a towel to wrap him in. C carried him outside and we had a brief, impromptu memorial. C has placed our cat-shaped sprinkler that looks like a mini-Max on top of the grave, along with the little ceramic angel that M and I bought 13 years ago to commemorate the baby we lost. There’s a path through the overgrowth that wasn’t there Friday morning.

We’re all dealing with waves of grief and sadness. Max was such a part of the fabric of our lives, it’s just strange and terrible and wrong for him not to be here. I’m even missing the way he would swat or bite my ankles if I walked by without stopping to pet him.

Wishful Thinking

2007-05-04T15:59:00.000-07:00

I've been putting some thought into this.

Years ago, Katie Holmes had a poster of Tom Cruise on her bedroom wall and dreamed of marrying him.

Demi Moore is 15 years older than Ashton Kutcher.

I am 15 years older than Richard Armitage.

Do you suppose M would mind if I put a poster of Richard Armitage up in the bedroom?

Be Afraid.

2007-05-03T12:01:00.000-07:00

C hit double digits last month and just in case I had any questions about what the impending teen years would be like, we had the following exchange the other day.

I called him on the cell phone. My number showed up on his screen, so he knew it was me calling. How did he answer the phone?

"Talk to me."

Good/Bad Car-ma?

2007-04-23T14:15:00.000-07:00

A week ago Friday M left, as usual, for work around 5:30 am. Fifteen minutes later, the phone rang. Not a good sign.

"The transmission in the truck died. I need you to drive down the bank and pick me up."

So I threw on my robe and went. It was the end of C's spring break and he was spending the week with my parents so it wasn't as complicated a situation as it would have been had there been three of us trying to get to three different places that morning. M dropped me at the bus stop and headed on off to the dealership to see what they could do for him.

"Dude. It's going to take some serious work to get that truck running again. Maybe $4000." (Oh shit.) "Too bad it's not under warranty."

(Wait a minute - maybe it is!) We bought the truck used and the guy who bought it originally had purchased a very expensive extended warranty for it. While it wasn't a purchase we would have made ourselves, it was only $25 to get the warranty transferred over to us, so M had very sensibly done so.

It took a couple of days for the dealership guys to deal with the warranty guys and get back to us, but the end result was that the repairs were covered under the warranty. Now we only had to pay for the tuneup the truck needed to have done concurrently. A few more days and $1000+ later, we had the truck back.

The guys at the dealership said that the truck needed new tires, too, but since the $1000+ was already an unanticipated expense, we opted to wait another month or so, in order to pay cash for them. After all, it's April, right? It's not like it's the start of the rainy season or anything....

So it rained for a good part of this last weekend. Another bad sign, right? Last night, M was toodling down the freeway when one of the front tires blew out. Not pretty. He changed it to the spare and came on home. Can you say Not Happy? I thought you could.

This morning, M left the house for work at about 5:30. His keys in his pocket, he leans over to tie his shoe. Something in his pocket knocks the right (or wrong) button on the keyring and the alarm goes off. Twice in a row.

That's three bad things. We're done now, right?

News of The World

2007-03-22T12:49:00.000-07:00

C's latest thing is the computer. He's used it pretty regularly from the time he was about 3 but in the last few months has completely embraced it, particularly the internet. He's very fond of Google and uses it on a daily basis for just about everything he can think of.

This morning at about 6:2o, I went in to wake him up and found his bed empty. I headed out to the family room where I found him sitting at the computer reading Time For Kids. He had already scanned today's New York Times and I believe he was headed for CNN next. The Mean, Cruel and Heartless Mommy insisted that he brush his teeth and take a shower instead.

Once again, I find myself wondering how this kid wound up with me. I never read any news on a regular basis until I was well into adulthood. While I wasn't uninformed, neither was I particularly well informed. C is not only pretty well informed, he's also quite opinionated. That part doesn't surprise me. :-)

Just like all the experts suggest, we've set our internet-connected computer up in a central area of our home so that we can keep an eye on what the "little" guy is reading and looking at. But while the experts have a lot to say about chat rooms, porn sites and instant messaging, they seem to be largely silent on the topic of World News for a Nine Year Old and his ideas about improving existing search engines.

What do your kids use the computer for? What do you limit access to and what do you encourage?

Pacific Daylight Time

2007-03-12T10:11:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning: C has a friend sleep over Friday night. Unbeknownst to M and me, the kids set the alarm to go off at 6:15 Saturday morning. The alarm has a feature by which you can record your own sounds to use as the ringer. The sounds C and his friend create sound like a cat fight. The entire household wakes up at 6:15.

Sunday morning: Even though he didn't get to sleep until after midnight Saturday night, C wakes up at 7:15, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. He tells us that he wanted some time on the computer before M and I are up. Let's just say that the rest of the household didn't get up that early.

Today: At 6:30 am when I go in to wake him up to get ready for school, C is comatose under the covers. He is cranky and not overly-cooperative. "Mom, the guy who invented daylight savings time is a jerk."

Note to Self

2007-02-27T13:37:00.000-08:00

Pretty sure infanticide is still illegal in all 50 states.

However.

Worth checking.

Something or Other Comes Before a Fall

2007-02-08T12:22:00.000-08:00

Remember these? I love my fabulous new rain boots. It's been relatively dry here in Northern California thus far this winter and I've had limited opportunities to wear them. Which is probably a good thing.

Back on a rainy day in December I was running for the bus home one night. As I crossed the street and tried to leap up onto the curb, I experienced a painful reminder that these boots are a little heavier than my usual ride, my trusty, comfortable, light and airy Crocs. My toe caught the high curb and I came down on both knees, bags flying. The good news is that the light pole broke the fall, otherwise I think I would have broken both kneecaps. I was really flying. The bruises on my knees lasted a couple of weeks. The one on my arm from the light pole, impressively big and purple, lasted for at least a month.

At 5:00 pm on a weekday in the Financial District there are a LOT of people on the streets. Seriously. A lot. Nothing like really public humiliation. Several of them stopped to ask if I was ok and they were all very kind. I slunk off to the bus stop, got myself home and nursed my bruises for those several weeks.

I healed. All was well.

Then came yesterday. It wasn't really raining before I left home, so I wore the Crocs and threw the boots in the van in case I needed them. Around noon, it was misty and the ground was wet as I headed for the van. The tile in the courtyard was damp and the bottoms of the Crocs are slippery when wet so I was walking Very Carefully. I was doing great till I got to a different patch of tile which was really, really smooth. One step onto those suckers and my feet went out from under me. I landed on my left knee. Mercifully, nothing broke, nobody saw me and the bruising was minimal. I limped home home, wondering why I couldn't ever seem to land on my ass, where there's plenty of padding.

So I get myself home and switch into my good old slippers. You know the kind - nice down uppers and a suede bottom. Warm, comfy, broken in. I was in the back room, doing a little yarn stash management (a certain husband has been a little bit unhappy about how it appears to be taking over our entire home), when Max the Cat started making "I'm-about-to-puke-my-guts-up" noises. You remember Max? The world's dumbest cat?

This isn't him, but the vacant stare gives you the general idea. (I think this cat is doing a stand-in gig for W - again, same vacant stare....)

Anyway, I recognize the sound and not wanting Max to puke all over the carpet (or the yarn) in the back room, I grab him and start sprinting for the front door. Just about the time I think maybe I'd be better off heading for the bathroom (it's closer), I realize Max has barfed on the carpet in front of me. Those nice suede soles hit the puke and I go sliding through the doorway, where I manage to stub my toe on the wall and land on my other (good) knee on the hardwood floor in the hallway.

I'm not really clear on where Max landed, but I can tell you that before I was able to get myself up he had managed to puke on the runner in the hallway.

Really, I thought he was done at that point but he then walked into the living room and threw up on the carpet in there too. I finally caught up with him and tossed him out the front door but to tell the truth, I think it was a totally wasted move on my part by that time.

I'm feeling remarkably ok today and the bruises are pretty small, especially compared to the ones from last December.

And I've come to an important conclusion. It's a lot easier - and a lot less painful - to just let the damn cat puke in a single place and clean it all up at once, after the fact. I'm pretty sure Max agrees.

An Open Letter to the Guy Sitting Behind Me on the Bus Last Night

2007-02-06T11:07:00.000-08:00

Dude -

Public transit is not an extension of your office. Seriously. It's an extension of my home, and I was trying to relax on the couch and catch 30 minutes of sleep before I got home. I'm not interested in what a high-powered, tough business guy you are. In fact, given how hard you were trying to impress all of us, I've got some serious questions about the size of a certain part of your anatomy and what you're trying to compensate for. Here's a clue: If I plug in my ipod and turn it up to FULL VOLUME and I can still hear you loud and clear, you're talking TOO LOUD. Buy a novel. Take up crossword puzzles or Transcendental Meditation. Just please turn off the phone and give us all a break.

That is all. Thank you.

More Socks

2007-01-28T20:32:00.000-08:00

Here are the Cherry Tree Hill socks that I knit for my mama - nice and soft - an easy yarn to work with.

And for my Dad, these Lana Grossa socks. He wanted cotton - a labor of love since I'm not really fond of cotton sock yarn. This was something I learned as part of the Great Christmas Sock Project of 2006 - I knit three pair of cotton socks and unless I come across some truly fabulous color in cotton, I think I'm done with it. Too splitty and thin for me.

And for my bestiest friend, K, this hot pair of socks in Black Bunny Fibers yarn (check out her Etsy shop) in the Berry Coulis colorway. Nice and soft and easy to work with.

Stay tuned - there are still more socks to come!

From The Annals of The Bad Mommy - Part Deux

2007-01-26T11:51:00.000-08:00

When C was about 4, I fell in love with the Dixie Chicks song Goodbye Earl. The Chicks (whom C came to refer to as the Chixie Dicks) appeared on some awards show with the video (starring Dennis Franz) playing in the background. The music is catchy, the video likewise and I bought the CD Fly, on which Goodby Earl appears. I mostly played it in the van and I would crank it up and sing along. I started out being kind of careful about not listening to it when C was in the van with me. I would listen to the rest of the songs (which were more subtlely inappropriate for 4 year olds) and would skip Earl. Then I got complacent. He hadn't asked me what mattress dancing or the sin wagon were, for instance. So, clearly, he wasn't really paying attention, right? And I stopped skipping Earl when it came around on the CD.

But you know, part of what makes Goodbye Earl great is that it's what I think of as a Story Song. It's got a plot, tells the story in some kind of order and, like I said before, is catchy. It kind of invites - no, begs - you to pay attention to it. Especially, it would apear, if you're 4 or 5.

So one day we're tooling along listening to Earl (probably a couple of times in a row - I really like it). And from the back seat comes

"Mom? Why did Earl have to die?"

Oh shit. I have really screwed up here. He WAS listening. "Well, honey, you know how we've talked about how we all die when it's our time? I guess it was just Earl's time."

Long pause from the back seat. Then he responds kind of confidentially - kind of like maybe I'm a little slow and he has to explain it to me: "You know, Mom, I think he was murdered."

I'm Ready For My Closeup Now, Mr. DeMille....

2007-01-16T19:31:00.000-08:00

M took a whole bunch of photos for me recently, so if I can pull my act together, I hope to post a few at a time to get caught up on at least the sock portions of the last six months. I know, I know. You can thank me later.

First up, we have the socks for Baby Brother's family from the last entry.

These are slipper socks made for my nephew MCH from Opal six-ply purchased at everybody's favorite Marin Fiber Arts. They're warm and handsome and best of all I have enough left over to make a pair for me too :-)

These gorgeous socks for nephew TNH were tremendously hard to photograph well. They're Mountain Colors Bearfoot in the Alpine colorway - Really rich blues and dark, dark purples. You can see why they didn't photograph really well. This yarn was DIVINE to work with. Soft, knits up smoothly and feels great. It was really hard not to keep them for myself. T, when your feet outgrow them, feel free to send them back to me.....

These were for niece SHH, who took about two seconds to pick out this turquoise and purple yarn in her Favorite Colors. It's Tess Designer baby/sock yarn that I picked up at Stitches West last year. Another quite nice yarn to work with. I'll be back at their booth for more next month.

For my sister-in-law SHH, this pair of Trekking socks in purples was really nice to work with. I like the way the this line of Trekking knits up into fraternal twin socks. Keeps the knitting from being boring and their colors are subtle and rich. Another Marin Fiber Arts yarn.

More Trekking yarn for the Baby Brother, DCH, himself. This colorway was amazing - in some light it looks like browns and in other light it looks like greens. Unfortunately, it's another yarn that's hard to photograph well and pick up all the subtleties.

More photos to come. Stay tuned....

Actual Knitting Content!

2007-01-11T13:55:00.000-08:00

I have more photos to share but that requires a level of organization that does not presently exist. In the meantime, I make this offering of a photo of my Baby Brother and his family. As you can see, they're a little bit shy. I've got closeups of all these socks - stay tuned....

Hey - Get a Load of This!

2006-12-19T11:09:00.000-08:00

My first post was a year ago yesterday!

And He's Just The Guy To Bring It....

2006-12-18T10:16:00.000-08:00

Here's one of those things cool things about parenting: Our kids are not at all like us. Also, they are completely like us. Mostly, we notice the differences when we're trying to get them to do something they don't want to do. Mostly, we notice the similarities when our own unattractive and/or unappealing qualities show up in our kids.

One of the things C and I share is a certain discomfort level with public speaking or anything that causes us to be noticed. We can do both, but it's not usually a first choice.

So for years, C has avoided being in the Christmas Pageant. I've been sad about that, because I think he's clever and gorgeous and well-spoken and an asset to any situation. At the same time, I haven't applied much pressure, because I get where he's coming from.

This year, my parents put in a special call. Their church is short on kids. Also, all the other grandchildren have played numerous and various roles over the years and they didn't want C to miss out on this rite of childhood. C surprised me with his response: Nana, I'd love to do it.

Yesterday morning, as we drove to church for the first rehearsal, he reverted to form: I don't want to do this. I think there are other kids who would do a better job than me and I don't want to deprive them of the opportunity. (Style points for that one.)

Too late, though. He was committed and they really are short on kids - so short (especially in the male category) that he was assigned not one but two roles: The Innkeeper and a Wise Man.

Which Wise Man? I asked. The one who brings gold?

No, I get to bring the Mirth.

Done!

2006-12-12T20:39:00.000-08:00

ALL the Christmas socks are done! All the Christmas knitting is done! Now I just need to get M to take pictures so that I can get everything wrapped and in the mail. You guys aren't expecting these socks THIS Christmas, are you?

Sock Update #5

2006-12-04T14:41:00.000-08:00

No. of socks completed: 23
No. of socks remaining to be completed by 12/25: 1

Yes, you read that right! I've just finished the cuff for the FINAL Christmas sock and am well on my way to DONE.

That is, if I can ignore the sale wall at Marin Fiber Arts. Warren's got some Cascade Indulgence (30% angora/70% alpaca) at 50% off that keeps calling to me. I bought a bunch in red and white the other day and might be most of the way done making a Santa hat for the Hub. Check out the pattern here. Lots of other colors available and I'm trying to ignore all the other ideas I have for it till that last sock is done, done, done!

Bizzy Feet Are Happy Feet

2006-12-01T10:18:00.000-08:00

With rainy weather making its annual appearance here in Northern California, it was time to get some new rain shoes. Crocs are the greatest shoes ever but those little holes make for wet socks when it's raining. Look what I found (guaranteed to make D shudder in horror):

My Kind of Gal

2006-11-17T10:55:00.000-08:00

Yesterday morning at the bus stop I'm standing in line behind a woman with a really big, pretty green umbrella that has something written in gold, very small, all over it. I lean closer: capitalist tool.

Things to Know

2006-11-09T15:11:00.000-08:00

My child is not really a morning person. It's only taken me 9 years to figure it out, but I've recently come to the conclusion that EVERYTHING that happens before the kid has had his shower is My Fault.

He can't get out of bed because I'm sitting on the edge of the bed holding the covers down.

He's tired because I let him stay up reading the night before. (It doesn't matter that I sent him to bed and when I went back to check on him an hour later discovered him sitting in our bed reading a book that he couldn't put down.)

It is entirely my fault that I am Not Funny - about anything - before he's had his shower.

After he gets in the shower, it all changes. He starts to wake up and his brain gets going. In the space of 5 minutes yesterday morning he came up with the following:

Mom, how long is the war in Iraq going to last? Well, that's a tough one. I don't think anybody can predict that.
Mom, I have this idea for building a space ship to fight aliens. If the aliens are bad aliens, that is. Cool. Tell me about it.
Mom, how is cheese produced? You know, I've always wondered about that. Maybe we can look it up on the computer when we get home tonight. Or maybe we can visit a cheese factory for a tour.
Mom, why are California condors so UGLY? I don't know, babe. I guess it works for them.

Cut me some slack on that last answer. I was barely awake myself and Mommy really NEEDS that hot chocolate before she functions well in the morning.

Wednesdays are my carpool day - we pick up two other kids and I drop them all at school. Also before I get my hot chocolate.

Yesterday morning the talk turned to

Dogs' ability to see - no colors. This is because of the ratio of rods to cones in their eyes. (I beg your pardon? You guys are NINE. How do you KNOW this stuff? And none of it is news to the other kids in the car. They already knew it too. How have I missed this?)
Monkeys, porpoises and flies - Among the only creatures in the world other than humans who recognize that when they look in a mirror they're seeing themselves, rather than another creature. (Seriously? I would have guessed there were many more. It's indicative of something - not sure what - that I take this at face value and don't really question the kid who shared the information.)
Lengthy discussion of birds and their sounds. One of the kids had a copy of Bird Songs* with him and the three of them compared various sounds and talked about where they had heard them before. Nobody thought this was unusual. (Seriously. Nobody thought this detailed conversation was unusual. Again, you guys are nine. When I was nine, my friends and I had imaginary friends from the planet Jupiter who drove Mercedes. But let's not go there.)
But the smartest thing I heard all morning was from the kid (not mine) who looked at me and said "Hey! Cool socks!" I LOVE him.

*The book is gorgeous, by the way. Thumbs up from this quarter.

Raises for Everyone!

2006-10-31T16:52:00.000-08:00

Happy Halloween!

C BOUNDED out of bed this morning. You know - the kid who has been known to moon me when I tell him it's time to get up? The kid who crawls - rather than walks - into the bathroom to brush his teeth? The kid who doesn't talk until after he's been in the shower for at least ten minutes?

This morning he lept out of bed, hummed while he brushed his teeth, talked to me the whole time he was in the shower and was generally in a very good mood.

Right up till I pulled his hair while I was brushing it. "You know, Mom, I really don't need to be handsome today. Today I'm the Grim Reaper."

Still, he was cheerful and talkative and all I could think about was what it must be like to be a teacher with a whole room full of kids for an entire day who are on a sugar high before they even get out of bed.

Under the best possible scenario we pay our teachers an embarrassingly small amount of money. On a day like today, if I were an elementary school teacher, I'd be calling in sick and spending the day drinking margaritas.

Last Week's Laundry Haul

2006-10-24T11:08:00.000-07:00

Recovered from the washing machine last week:

One penny (now mine)
One ping pong ball

Frost On The Pumpkin

2006-10-24T11:00:00.000-07:00

This morning when C and I went out to get in the van to drive to day care, the windows were all frosted up. No big deal with the front and rear - a swipe with the wipers took care of it. As we headed off down the street, I ran the driver and passenger side windows down and back up to wipe the frost off of them.

As the cold air hit C in the backseat, he popped off with "Sheesh! Are you crazy in the head?"

Me: "Why yes, I am. Thank you for asking."

From the back of the van came a little voice: "Oh great. I've got a crazy mother."

Like this is news?

Sock Update #4

2006-10-16T13:24:00.000-07:00

Number of socks completed: 18

Number of socks remaining to be completed before 12/25: 6

Socks in Progress: 1 - (1) Cast on and about 3/4" of ribbing complete. Yes, I know: One barely started sock is not much. However, keep in mind that I've also just completed the second Regia Silk sock that I was knitting for myself, along with the first of some red Mega Boots Stretch socks that C asked for, and have gotten the second as far as the heel flap. I think of them as Bonus Socks.

I'm about to cast a second sock of a pair in Koigu and that stuff is like butta. It will go fast.

With more than ten weeks to go till Christmas, I am still completely on track to complete all promised socks in time.

Always assuming that I don't get seduced by something else. Like the Karabella cashmere/wool shawl. Or the Brooks Farm clapotis. Or the new Rowan cashsoft aran that flung itself into my bag when I was at Marin Fiber Arts last week. Or more bonus socks.

Right.

Another Skill to Add to My Resume

2006-10-13T14:26:00.000-07:00

I am an excellent cat piller. This week, I am giving Slick the glucosamine capsules for his arthritis that someone else thought he was giving to Slick last weekend while I was away, and which I've been finding, slightly sticky, under the dining room table.

Fall Is Here

2006-10-03T21:55:00.000-07:00

With the sun coming up later and later every morning, it's getting harder and harder to get C up and moving in the mornings. This morning, I asked him several times to get up. Then he mooned me.

Just Wondering

2006-09-27T15:00:00.000-07:00

Can anybody tell me why there's a sippy cup lid in my freezer?

A Little Humor For an Otherwise Not-So-Entertaining Monday

2006-09-25T14:18:00.000-07:00

Always a little late to the party, today we honor Talk Like a Pirate Day, with my all time favorite pirate joke.

Part of the reason (ok, most of the reason) I really love this joke is that I learned it from my nephew, T, who cracks me up on a regular basis. My prediction for T's future: By the age of 35, he will either be the gazillionaire president of a multi-national company or he will have been whacked by an irate husband.

The joke:

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel shoved down his pants. The bartender says "Excuse me, did you know there's a steering wheel shoved down your pants?" The pirate says "Aye. It's driving me nuts!"

Ok, Ok - I Was Wrong

2006-09-22T12:22:00.000-07:00

Apparently C was one step ahead of me, yet again, when he felt the need to discuss E. coli with everyone he met.

Another Early Morning Conversation

2006-09-22T12:05:00.000-07:00

It's not hard to conclude that my baby is no fan of W. This morning's conversation:

Mom, why haven't they impeached Bush?

Well, it's a long, complicated, expensive process and there's never really any guarantee that it will be successful.

Well he's just so STUPID. Isn't that enough?

What prompted this, you ask? Well, the Little Hub brought home some new toilet paper, adorned with a goofy photo of W and featuring some of his more brilliant statements. You know - the ones like "They misunderestimated me."

I gotta confess - I can't bring myself to actually USE the stuff. Just the THOUGHT of using it completely grosses me out.

Sock Update #3

2006-09-14T16:19:00.000-07:00

Number of socks completed: 14

Number of socks remaining to be completed before 12/25: 10

Socks in Progress: 3 - (1) Cast on and about 3 rounds of ribbing complete. (2) Cast on and about 3/4" of ribbing complete. (3) About 2/3 of the way to the heel flap. This is the sock that made it all the way to the heel and it was just too small and so got ripped back to begin again. I'm askeared that it's now going to be too big but will need to take it around the heel before I'll know for sure.

I am so totally on track to complete all socks by Christmas. Piece of cake.* Which is a good thing, since our Knit Group Knitalong of the Boise lace shawl in the cashmere/merino blend (in a gorgeous blue) is turning out to be just as seductive as I had feared. After screwing it up on the 4th pattern row the first time around and pulling it all out and starting over, I've gotten the pattern down and am loving not only the way it looks but the way the yarn feels going through my hands. I am so definitely keeping this for my ownself - I'm going to be one warm and happy camper come cold weather.

*How's that for tempting fate??

Laundry, Part 3

2006-09-13T13:53:00.000-07:00

In the unhappy event you should ever find yourself needing to remove bubble gum from the inside of your clothes dryer, you might find it helpful to know that a small amount of Goof Off will really do the trick - and quickly.

Not that I would know from personal experience, of course. I'm just saying.

The Other Shoe

2006-09-11T14:33:00.000-07:00

The good news is that the Little Hub just laughed and said "Oh, honey, Mom REALLY doesn't want to answer that question!"

I'm sure it was strictly a coincidence that I had recently cast on a pair of Regia Silk socks in that really pretty blue/gray color for him.

That, plus he's got a few purchases of his own that he doesn't want undergoing any serious scrutiny.

How Would You Respond?

2006-09-09T23:00:00.000-07:00

The other night, IN FRONT OF the Little Hub, C said "Mom, how much do you think you spend on yarn in a year?"

Four Phone Calls From the Little Hub

2006-09-08T14:30:00.000-07:00

1. 6:30 am

"Hi hon - Could you please let C know that I'll probably be kind of late picking him up this afternoon? I have this golf thing. It doesn't start till 1:00 and I'll just have to leave a little early to get there to pick him up - probably around around 5:30 or so."

Me: "Ok." (Golf thing? What golf thing?)

2. 7:03 am

"Hi. Do you know if XXXXX (our across the street neighbor) has left yet this morning?"

"Their car was warming up 9 minutes ago when C and I left. I would imagine she's gone by now. Why?"

"Well, I was thinking I could ask her to pick C up tonight and then I could stay for the dinner for this golf tournament."

"Why don't you call her on her cell phone?" (Golf tournament? What golf tournament?)

"Well, I USED to have her number but I haven't put it into my new cell phone yet. Do you have it?"

"Yup. Hang on while I pull over and pull it up."

3. 7:07 am

"Hi. I got hold of XXXXX and she's going to pick C up when she gets home tonight."

"Great. I'll pick him up from her when I get home. What's this golf thing? This is the first I've heard of it."

"I know - my fault. I forgot about it. It's for work - the golf part starts at 1 and then there's dinner after. Not sure what time I'll be home. Hey, I guess I'd better call (the after school daycare people) and let them know XXXXX will be picking C up."

"Great. Thanks for doing that."

4. 7:09 am

"Hi. I guess I don't have the number for (the after school daycare people) in my new phone either. Do you have it?"

"Yup. Let me pull over and pull it up for you." (Glad we got out of the house early this morning....)

Love The Use of Language, Anyway

2006-09-07T14:41:00.000-07:00

I overheard my child saying this to a friend yesterday:

"X, you are being annoying, uncivilized and inappropriate for this time."

You kind of have to imagine it being uttered in a prissy, clipped, sort of manner.

Yikes.

The good news is that the friend didn't take him seriously, either.

Sock Update #2

2006-09-05T14:16:00.000-07:00

Number of socks completed: 10
Number of socks remaining to be completed before 12/25: 14

Socks in Progress: 2 - (1) Nearly complete - just need to hear from a certain family member about the length of his foot so I can figure out where to start the toe decreases. (2) About half-way through the gussett and headed for the homestretch.

Sock that was in progress but is now back to being just a big ball of yarn: 1. I had it all the way to the heel and it was just too small. So this week I'll be casting it back on - more stitches and I think I need to go up a needle size too. Dang. It was looking pretty cool - right up till the moment I ripped it all out. Depressing, how it takes 60 seconds to rip out what took many hours to put together.

Nonetheless: I am COMPLETELY on track to complete all socks by Christmas! I've already completed the sock for this week and am trying to get myself a little ahead of the game since the Knit Group Knitalong at Marin Fiber Arts starts this Thursday night and I know I'm going to get sucked in by that seductive little cashmere/merino blend we're using to make the Boise shawl....

Summer Reading

2006-09-01T15:23:00.000-07:00

You will recall that C spent much of his summer reading the first 11 books in the Warriors series. But the entire summer was not about bands of feral cats. The kid read about 4500 pages this summer, and he likes non-fiction just as much as fiction. He raced through Chew On This, the kid version of Fast Food Nation.

Truly, I'm thrilled. I think it's fabulous that he's learning to make smart food choices - not just about what you eat, but about where you eat it, too. I wish I had his food habits.

But: Does anybody else think it's a little weird that when you send a 9-year-old to the video store to pick out something to watch on a Saturday night, he comes home with Supersize Me? Again, it's an excellent film and I'm really pleased that he's connecting the dots and taking these issues to the next level.

However: I'm about to draw the line. He has GOT to stop talking about E. Coli with every person he meets. Especially when they and/or we are eating.

Not ENTIRELY Beyond My Areas of Expertise

2006-08-31T16:48:00.000-07:00

C and two of his friends had a play/homework date at our house yesterday afternoon. My favorite part of the afternoon was when we were driving to the house.

The kids started out with a fairly sophisticated discussion of astronauts - what it took to be one, what could be studied in space and how, the repairs to the Hubbell (which is how they referred to it - "You know, when they put the 'glasses' on The Hubbell the first time they made repairs?").

I'm thinking I am in SO way over my head with these kids and I'm really admiring their teacher, who deals with 24 of these verbal little brainiacs every day and then I realize they've moved on to a discussion of how you pee and poop in a zero gravity environment and how you attach suction instruments to various parts of your body (insert 9-year-old boy giggles here) and I thought whew, THIS I can manage!

And She Knits Too!

2006-08-28T14:53:00.000-07:00

Some friends tell me they've found the perfect girlfriend for C. She's about the same age he is, and in the midst of talking about something else recently she said "You know, I was reading about nanotechnology the other day...."

Sock Update #1

2006-08-28T12:53:00.000-07:00

Number Completed: 8 socks
Number Still Needed by 12/25: 16 socks
In Progress: 4 socks - (1) 4" knitted, 2 more inches to the heel flap; (2) almost complete - just need a foot length so that I know where to start the toe decreases; (3) heel turned and ready to pick up gussett stitches; (4) toe decreases started - on the home stretch.
Totally on track to have all socks completed by Christmas. Yes, there will be photos, but not till after Christmas!

The Good, The Bad and The Amazing

2006-08-28T12:34:00.000-07:00

C transferred to a new school this year.

On the one hand, we're thrilled. At the new school, he's participating in an accelerated curriculum. He'll be pushed harder and his intellectual muscles will be stretched more. He's transferred with two of his good buddies and they're enjoying each other. As a bonus, we really like the parents of these two buddies. C's teacher and the fifth grade teacher he'll have next year are fabulous and all of us are really looking forward to an exciting couple of years.

On the other hand, we really loved the old school. It has a strong and focused PTA and a truly excellent and committed faculty and staff. Lots of buddies there, both for C and for us. We'll still be in touch with many of them, particularly given our involvement with Cub Scouts, but we'll miss the day-to-day involvement.

Here's only one example of what makes it such an exceptional place and why we'll miss it: On Friday evening, C's teacher from last year called him to see how he was adjusting to his new class in the new school. She didn't talk to us - she called for C and talked to him for a good 15 minutes, asking him about his summer, how he liked the new classroom, what they were learning and how he was. The King of the One Syllable Answers talked at length about summer camps, fingerprinting (something he learned about last week in school) and what was happening at the alma mater. He clearly felt valuable and empowered and his parents were completely charmed and blown away.

Mrs. D: You so totally rock!

Dinner Out

2006-08-28T11:42:00.000-07:00

So the Little Hub, C and I went out to Phyllis' Giant Burgers for dinner last night. The burgers really were gigantic, so at the end of the meal, the LH asked C to go get a to go box for us to take the leftovers home in.

C: Dad, do you see that sign over there that says "How to order?"

LH (turning around to look): Yes.

C: Well, it says "How to order." Not "How to Order C Around."

I swear, I have NO idea where he gets it from....

The Bad Mommy Rides Again

2006-08-25T15:03:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was the first day of school. We didn't receive a supply list ahead of time so C and I decided we would go to Staples yesterday afternoon, after he had had a chance to size things up and see what he was going to need. We had several conversations about the arrangements for meeting, all culminating in me ASSURING him that I would be there right on time, right outside his classroom, right after class let out at 2:50.

After dropping him at school (he never looked back and I finally had a year when I didn't cry even a little), I headed over to the Jiffy Lube place to get the oil in the van changed. They told me that in addition to an oil change, I needed brake and transmission fluid and that the battery was on its last legs.

I told them to go ahead with all the fluids but that since I had had absolutely no problem, ever, with the battery, I would wait and pick one up at Sears later. One hour and $150+ later, I was on my way.

I dropped some stuff at the dry cleaners. I drove over and had some hot chocolate and hung out at Dr. Insominia's for a bit. I ran home to get the checkbook I had forgotten and then went and got my hair cut. I ran a couple of other errands. I went down to San Rafael and had a salad and hung out with my buds at Marin Fiber Arts and worked on (surprise!) some socks for awhile.

At 2:15, precisely 35 minutes before I needed to pick C up, I hopped in the van to make the 15-20 minute drive to the school.

The battery was completely dead. It was so dead, the van didn't even make any noise when I turned the key to try to start it. Dead, dead, dead. Really and truly dead.

Never mind that I'd made a number of other stops since the morning diagnosis of near-death. The damn thing chose THIS stop and THIS time to die.

So I called the Little Hub (now also known as the Hero of the Day), who makes it to San Rafael in ten minutes flat, hooks the truck battery up to the van battery and has me on my way in another ten minutes. And I forgot to tip him.

I actually pulled into the school parking lot a mere 4 minutes late. However, I couldn't turn the engine off, I didn't see C and since I DID tell him I would meet him outside the door to his classroom, it meant I had to park and walk over to that part of the school.

So I did what any reasonable person would do on the first day at a brand new school: I parked the van in a STAFF ONLY parking spot, left it running (praying that I wouldn't get busted) and dashed off to find C, who was only a little bit ticked that I was late and was very understanding when I explained why we'd be going to Sears before we went to Staples.

Note to self: Next time, just believe them when they say it's time for a new part. Also: probably not a bad idea to carry jumper cables of my very own. You know - just as a preventative sort of thing.

First Day of School

2006-08-24T21:24:00.000-07:00

Last night's conversation:

Me: So what was the absolute best thing about summer vacation this year?

C: Cooking camp. No question.

(Thank you again Auntie K!)

Me: So what's the absolute best thing about going back to school in the morning?

C: Doing some actual LEARNING in my classroom.

Me: As opposed to what?

C: Well, I've seen the classroom a couple of times now but we've just looked around. We haven't done any actual learning.

************************

This morning as we're getting ready to leave the house:

You know, Mom, some people think that leadership is a privilege, but I think of it more as a duty.

I Do So Love A Challenge

2006-08-22T10:47:00.000-07:00

When my sibs and their families were out to visit earlier this summer, I sat everyone down with the sock yarn stash and asked them each to pick out yarn so that I could make socks for them for Christmas.

Only a dozen pairs and I have all the way to Christmas, right? Just 24 socks. No problem.

So I sat down the other day and evaluated the situation and realized that I needed to complete one sock per week in order to get everybody’s socks done in time. No problem.

C gave me one of his sticker reward charts and I wrote each person’s name in two boxes. Every time I complete a sock, I get to put a sticker in one of the boxes. (See how smart I am? One sticker per SOCK, not per PAIR – makes it look like I’m making progress much, much faster!)

As of today, I’ve got 7 stickers on the chart and there are 3 partially completed socks in my bag. I cast on another sock this morning, just to keep things interesting – I like having various socks in various states of completion so that I can jump around based on how much concentration each sock requires at any given point in the construction. Picking up stitches for the gusset requires concentration and good lighting. Ribbing is good for tv watching. The round and round of stockinette is good during a movie or while reading. And sometimes I just need to switch to something in a different color or a different yarn to keep it interesting.

Stay tuned for updates on the sticker chart. And I need foot lengths for SGH, RJH, PSH and DCH.

Summer Vacation Has Changed Since I Was Kid

2006-08-21T15:59:00.000-07:00

What the heck happened to summer? School starts on Thursday. (And may I just say: It is so totally WRONG for school to start before Labor Day. I still haven’t gotten used to that.)

(And I finally looked at the school calendar and figured out why school starts on a Thursday this year: Instead of giving the kids Weds-Fri off during Thanksgiving week, this year we have the ENTIRE week to keep them entertained. But I digress.)

I love summer vacation. I’ve always liked it, but it’s been since C entered “real” school that I’ve learned to love it in the way I did as a kid. The main reason: NO HOMEWORK. It’s entirely possible that I hate homework more than C does. It’s close, but I think I hate it more.

The secondary reason I love summer vacation: Camp. Admittedly, this is a vicarious thrill for me, but I takes ‘em where I can get ‘em.

I don’t have a huge number of memories of camp as a kid. I did a few overnights with the Girl Scouts. I remember learning how to cook Blushing Bunnies (Velveeta melted into a can of tomato soup and poured over soggy white bread). I remember learning camp songs (99 bottles of beer, anyone?). There was Vacation Bible School and I went away to church camp a few times. I was lucky to have a stay-at-home Mom during my younger years, so day camp wasn’t the necessity it is for my little guy.

Day camp opportunities for today’s middle-class kid are a whole new story. I’ve learned that it helps to start planning in about March. Seriously. How ridiculous is that? And yet – it’s what I do.

This summer, we really mixed it up and C was able to spend time at Cub Scout Camp at the Marin Headlands, Science Adventure Camp, Steve & Kate’s Camp, the Marin Humane Society’s Animal Care Camp, Camp Nana, and – his and my personal favorite – Sur La Table’s Kids’ Cooking Camp.

Cooking Camp was courtesy of my BF, C’s Auntie K, who learned of the camp and sponsored C’s enrollment. Special Thanks go to my mom & dad (proprietors of Camp Nana) – C stayed at their house that week and they ferried him back and forth to camp and otherwise kept him entertained during the off hours.

He LOVED it. I got a call every single day after class let out and my child who generally speaks to me in one word sentences on the phone deconstructed each and every class at length. He came home with recipes for everything they made (at least 25 different items) and has been recreating them at home, as well as making up his own recipes for things – including a killer marinara sauce he makes to go with his from-scratch pasta. (SO much better than Blushing Bunnies.) Last week, he made a different dinner every single night. Really. Auntie K, you have our undying love and devotion forever, just for that.

The real measure of how much he loved it: He’s decided that maybe he’ll be a chef instead of an inventor when he grows up. Although, as he notes, “they’re not that different.”

Here's hoping that school will still seem fun and interesting after a great summer. And that we all survive homework re-entry.