The Bad Mommy

I work only to pay for his therapy later.

Location: Novato, California, United States

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Just Wondering

Can anybody tell me why there's a sippy cup lid in my freezer?

Monday, September 25, 2006

A Little Humor For an Otherwise Not-So-Entertaining Monday

Always a little late to the party, today we honor Talk Like a Pirate Day, with my all time favorite pirate joke.

Part of the reason (ok, most of the reason) I really love this joke is that I learned it from my nephew, T, who cracks me up on a regular basis. My prediction for T's future: By the age of 35, he will either be the gazillionaire president of a multi-national company or he will have been whacked by an irate husband.

The joke:

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel shoved down his pants. The bartender says "Excuse me, did you know there's a steering wheel shoved down your pants?" The pirate says "Aye. It's driving me nuts!"

Friday, September 22, 2006

Ok, Ok - I Was Wrong

Apparently C was one step ahead of me, yet again, when he felt the need to discuss E. coli with everyone he met.

Another Early Morning Conversation

It's not hard to conclude that my baby is no fan of W. This morning's conversation:

Mom, why haven't they impeached Bush?

Well, it's a long, complicated, expensive process and there's never really any guarantee that it will be successful.

Well he's just so STUPID. Isn't that enough?

What prompted this, you ask? Well, the Little Hub brought home some new toilet paper, adorned with a goofy photo of W and featuring some of his more brilliant statements. You know - the ones like "They misunderestimated me."

I gotta confess - I can't bring myself to actually USE the stuff. Just the THOUGHT of using it completely grosses me out.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Sock Update #3

Number of socks completed: 14

Number of socks remaining to be completed before 12/25: 10

Socks in Progress: 3 - (1) Cast on and about 3 rounds of ribbing complete. (2) Cast on and about 3/4" of ribbing complete. (3) About 2/3 of the way to the heel flap. This is the sock that made it all the way to the heel and it was just too small and so got ripped back to begin again. I'm askeared that it's now going to be too big but will need to take it around the heel before I'll know for sure.

I am so totally on track to complete all socks by Christmas. Piece of cake.* Which is a good thing, since our Knit Group Knitalong of the Boise lace shawl in the cashmere/merino blend (in a gorgeous blue) is turning out to be just as seductive as I had feared. After screwing it up on the 4th pattern row the first time around and pulling it all out and starting over, I've gotten the pattern down and am loving not only the way it looks but the way the yarn feels going through my hands. I am so definitely keeping this for my ownself - I'm going to be one warm and happy camper come cold weather.

*How's that for tempting fate??

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Laundry, Part 3

In the unhappy event you should ever find yourself needing to remove bubble gum from the inside of your clothes dryer, you might find it helpful to know that a small amount of Goof Off will really do the trick - and quickly.

Not that I would know from personal experience, of course. I'm just saying.

Monday, September 11, 2006

The Other Shoe

The good news is that the Little Hub just laughed and said "Oh, honey, Mom REALLY doesn't want to answer that question!"

I'm sure it was strictly a coincidence that I had recently cast on a pair of Regia Silk socks in that really pretty blue/gray color for him.

That, plus he's got a few purchases of his own that he doesn't want undergoing any serious scrutiny.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

How Would You Respond?

The other night, IN FRONT OF the Little Hub, C said "Mom, how much do you think you spend on yarn in a year?"

Friday, September 08, 2006

Four Phone Calls From the Little Hub

1. 6:30 am

"Hi hon - Could you please let C know that I'll probably be kind of late picking him up this afternoon? I have this golf thing. It doesn't start till 1:00 and I'll just have to leave a little early to get there to pick him up - probably around around 5:30 or so."

Me: "Ok." (Golf thing? What golf thing?)

2. 7:03 am

"Hi. Do you know if XXXXX (our across the street neighbor) has left yet this morning?"

"Their car was warming up 9 minutes ago when C and I left. I would imagine she's gone by now. Why?"

"Well, I was thinking I could ask her to pick C up tonight and then I could stay for the dinner for this golf tournament."

"Why don't you call her on her cell phone?" (Golf tournament? What golf tournament?)

"Well, I USED to have her number but I haven't put it into my new cell phone yet. Do you have it?"

"Yup. Hang on while I pull over and pull it up."

3. 7:07 am

"Hi. I got hold of XXXXX and she's going to pick C up when she gets home tonight."

"Great. I'll pick him up from her when I get home. What's this golf thing? This is the first I've heard of it."

"I know - my fault. I forgot about it. It's for work - the golf part starts at 1 and then there's dinner after. Not sure what time I'll be home. Hey, I guess I'd better call (the after school daycare people) and let them know XXXXX will be picking C up."

"Great. Thanks for doing that."

4. 7:09 am

"Hi. I guess I don't have the number for (the after school daycare people) in my new phone either. Do you have it?"

"Yup. Let me pull over and pull it up for you." (Glad we got out of the house early this morning....)

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Love The Use of Language, Anyway

I overheard my child saying this to a friend yesterday:

"X, you are being annoying, uncivilized and inappropriate for this time."

You kind of have to imagine it being uttered in a prissy, clipped, sort of manner.


The good news is that the friend didn't take him seriously, either.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Sock Update #2

Number of socks completed: 10
Number of socks remaining to be completed before 12/25: 14

Socks in Progress: 2 - (1) Nearly complete - just need to hear from a certain family member about the length of his foot so I can figure out where to start the toe decreases. (2) About half-way through the gussett and headed for the homestretch.

Sock that was in progress but is now back to being just a big ball of yarn: 1. I had it all the way to the heel and it was just too small. So this week I'll be casting it back on - more stitches and I think I need to go up a needle size too. Dang. It was looking pretty cool - right up till the moment I ripped it all out. Depressing, how it takes 60 seconds to rip out what took many hours to put together.

Nonetheless: I am COMPLETELY on track to complete all socks by Christmas! I've already completed the sock for this week and am trying to get myself a little ahead of the game since the Knit Group Knitalong at Marin Fiber Arts starts this Thursday night and I know I'm going to get sucked in by that seductive little cashmere/merino blend we're using to make the Boise shawl....

Friday, September 01, 2006

Summer Reading

You will recall that C spent much of his summer reading the first 11 books in the Warriors series. But the entire summer was not about bands of feral cats. The kid read about 4500 pages this summer, and he likes non-fiction just as much as fiction. He raced through Chew On This, the kid version of Fast Food Nation.

Truly, I'm thrilled. I think it's fabulous that he's learning to make smart food choices - not just about what you eat, but about where you eat it, too. I wish I had his food habits.

But: Does anybody else think it's a little weird that when you send a 9-year-old to the video store to pick out something to watch on a Saturday night, he comes home with Supersize Me? Again, it's an excellent film and I'm really pleased that he's connecting the dots and taking these issues to the next level.

However: I'm about to draw the line. He has GOT to stop talking about E. Coli with every person he meets. Especially when they and/or we are eating.

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